Rhetorical? You can decide.

I am in a strange place today.

There is something disturbing about being down in the dumps for no apparent reason. I just woke up wishing I did not have to wake up. Not like a tired feeling just a feeling of “I do not want to interact with anyone today.”

Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever just wake up in a mood that makes no sense? I am finding that things that should make me happy are not doing so much for me today.

My brain is overloaded with thoughts and ideas that I cannot make sense of. I am not sleeping well because I cannot shut my brain off and I cannot focus on anything. Here I am at work, not working but posting on my blog. I have a million things to do and I have no clue where to start or what has to be done. Not that I want to do anything anyway. I feel like I am in a dream and not a good one.

Ugh, I am getting more depressed just reading what I have written.

Is this a side effect of diabetes? It always seems like everything is connected to the D somehow. At that same time I think that I blame Diabetes for everything. Do I use it as a cop out? I actually said, after getting into an argument with my wife the other day, “Well maybe I need to check my blood!” Have I turned into a pathetic loser who hides behind his disease? Is there a Diabetes Card and am I playing it?

This is difficult to ask but is there a point where Diabetics can take advantage of their disease? Can I blame the Bete for things and not own my own “issues?”

Maybe I should check my blood?

I quit.

You Tube Tuesday #1

One of my many resolutions this year is to add some "regular features" on the old Blog so every Tuesday you can expect a new You Tube video.

Some may be funny. Thought provoking. Who knows. Some may even be original Super George movies! :) Anyhow, enjoy the clip and take a look at a 10 hour time lapse video of what cats do all day!

Time's up!

Ah, 2006 is coming to a close or already has depending on when you read this.

Just some bullet points to round out the year. So here it goes.

• Today is my wife's birthday! I totally robbed the cradle! :)
• Did you vote for the 2006 OC Blog awards? If not, you should go vote now!
  
• I have not heard much about little O. I hope to find out more when the kids get back to school.
• My boss' wife is making huge strides everyday! "It is like a little miracle every morning" is how he describes it. So awesome.
• I am fat. I will not be anymore. Wanna join the OC New Me Challenge? C'mon we will have a blast and encourage one another all year long!!!
• If you smoke and want to stop, this is what I used and it helped. I am still smoke free.
• M is doing great! He has amazing parents and an awesome sister too!
  

2006 was filled with so many ups and downs as every year is I guess. The best thing about this year is honestly this Blog and the OC and just how life changing this has all been. All of you have helped me to take better care of myself. All of you have inspired me in so many ways. I just wish I could meet all of you and give each one of you a very well deserved hug as a "thanks."

I hope you all have a very wonderful, safe, and happy New Year celebration.

And I'll type at ya next year! ;)

IT IS TIME MY FRIENDS!!!

I know you are all sick of hearing me complain about my every growing waistline.

Well, my friends, Allison (OC keeper upper person and much more) has come up with a way that we can get our weight and our A1C where we want them to be. And also have a lot of fun doing it!

PLEASE CHECK OUT "The OC New Me Challenge"

This is just what I have been looking for. I cannot wait until the end of 2007 when we are all feeling better about ourselves and I will be able to fit in a chair with arms again.

FYI - I had an endo appointment on Thursday and...

I hate to admit this...

I have officially acheived the absolute fattest I have ever been.

Thanks Allison. This is perfect timing.

2 hours

I feel terrible. I am as sick as a dog right now. My throat feels like I have swallowed shards of glass. I am coughing constantly and if I were to run into Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy and Doc I could jump right in to complete the group (get it?).

So, I went to Urgent Care tonight to get some much needed drugs and when I walk in the door I see that there are only 2 seats available in entire waiting room.

"Um, how long is the wait?"

"2 hours."

"k. Buh bye."

The only worse then waiting in a waiting room when you are sick for TWO HOURS is knowing the whole time that the very first thing you are going to do after those TWO HOURS is stand on a scale to find out how much fatter your ass is now.

I left. I could not torture myself.

I have an endo appointment tomorrow (lovely, they do the scale thing too) and maybe he can give me some drugs after he asks, "So how's your diabetes?"

ugh

Send me some Calgon please