I am a fan of bollywood movies. If I ever catch them on Cable I become glued to the screen. The music and dancing is hypnotic.
Entries from March 1, 2009 - March 31, 2009
Flying is not fun. I am lucky in that I typically am asleep before the flight even takes off but for the most part flying is not fun.
This guy changes things up a bit.
Enjoy, and thank you all for the birthday greetings yesterday. That was very cool!
I left work yesterday a little late due to a phone system problem that I was trying to help figure out. I try to make a habit of checking my BG before I head home so I broke out the One Touch and logged a 113.
I headed out to the car and of course it is hot as Hades outside since it’s the middle of summer here in Southern California (I swear, it’s supposed to be 90 today!). I took my sweater off and hopped in the Murano only wearing my undershirt to stay cool.
On the drive home I had both windows opened because it was so hot. I was sweating like crazy. Typically I am cold all the time so this was really weird. It’s probably because it has not been this warm in a while and I am so used to being cooler. Or maybe it’s the supplements I started taking that are supposed to help speed up your metabolism.
And then it hit me. I am low.
I started losing vision and quickly turned my blinker on to get off of the, very busy but still doing 60mph, traffic filled freeway. I grabbed my bottle of glucose tabs and chomped down as many as I could. The sweat was getting worse and my heart rate increased. Oh my god I was so scared. I was scared for everyone on the freeway. The last thing I want to do is know that my diabetes hurt someone else.
Since all Southern California drivers are so kind, I was able to get off of the next exit. In hindsight I should have just gotten into the shoulder but I wanted to get off of the freeway entirely. I was terrified and as many of you understand, not thinking straight.
I stopped, checked my BG and I was 85. I ate more tabs out of fear.
Was I going to pass out? Was it because I have been so high lately that I only felt like I was going to pass out? Was I making it more then it was? I truly felt like I was going to pass out but I have to question myself after seeing the 85. Am I going nuts?
Today is tough day.
March 13th that is.
It was or is or I dunno what the correct terminology should be but March 13th 1949 was the year my father was born.
Today would have been his 60th birthday and it is getting to me, a lot. He has been gone for a long time. Long enough that I am embarrassed that this is even getting the best of me but I cannot stop thinking about him, hearing his voice, picturing him being the comedian he always was, and hearing that laugh. I feel like I should be over it by now or at least not crying about it.
I am not sure why this one is getting to me so much.
Maybe it’s because my son came in first on his 2 mile race yesterday?
Maybe it’s because my daughter is hysterical and totally has his sense of humor?
Maybe it’s because my little sister is about to have her first child and he did not get to meet my kids, my other sisters two kids, and now the new little one coming along soon.
Maybe it’s because tomorrow I have to pick up the last things at our old place and finally be completely done with it?
Maybe it’s because despite all the economic crap my boss still decided to give me a bonus which I do not feel I deserve?
Maybe it’s because all the things and everything about my life I loved to share with him and I cannot.
Today is just too heavy for me.