A New Routine

Here we go again. I woke up this morning and decided that tonight is the night to begin an exercise routine. I will exercise every single night until our vacation at the end of September.

I know that most of you are thinking, “Sure George, we’ll believe it when we see (read) it!” And I do not blame you one bit. I am constantly bitching and complaining about my weight and my self esteem and I know that if I exercised regularly then those two would not be as much of an issue. I also know that I am a routine kind of a guy. I do not do spontaneous or sporadic well. If I don’t have a routine then I will not do it. That I do know.

So tonight will be the beginning of a new routine. I have to do it. I keep thinking about my father and how young he was when he had his first and last heart attack and I do not want to carry on that tradition.

The next few days will be nothing more then a few words about the workout the night before so I can stay accountable. Not that I think my blog is that great of a read but it is going to be pretty short and boring for a while unless something really interesting happens which I am kind of hoping will not!

On a side note, I signed up for a Blog Talk account after reading Kerri’s post about it. Kind of cool but I am not quite sure what to do subject wise if anything at all. I have been working on a Podcast with a friend of mine and that was going to be my broadcasting focus but this new medium seems interesting to me. More later on that topic.

OUCH!

I changed my site out yesterday and OUCH if freaking hurt! This is the first time it ever hurt at all! I made a noise like a snake hissing or air being let out of a tire!

SSSSSSSSSSSSS OUCHERS!!!!!!!!

I thought I picked an area far from the others (which is what I try to do each time) but man it hurt. In fact, every time I bolus it burns all around the site. My BG has been great so I am not sure what is up.

I am sure you all have ideas as to what the problem is. Please let me know what you think. I was going to change it but frankly, I cannot afford to waste infusion sets unless they just flat out don’t work and this one is working just fine. Since I just got my pump, I have exhausted my medical supply coverage for the year so this next batch of supplies I will have to pay for all by my lonesome.

Any thoughts from my dear OC friends will be great appreciated.

ISO Purpose

Lately I have been examining my life and really thinking about what I do day in and day out. What a depressing exercise.

First and foremost I am a father and a husband. Two things I try to devote as much of my energy as I can towards. I am also an employee to a great company that I enjoy. I am the band leader of our church’s contemporary band. I have just started playing music with some friends in hopes to start a little band for fun.

Looking at these things makes me question why I do what I do. I enjoy music very much. It is an outlet for my creativity and at church, it helps people worship and connect to their spirituality. I appreciate all of the kind words from the congregation but that is not why I do it. I do it, honestly, to get me to church. I need church to keep me grounded and connected to God. I also need church for the fellowship. My church family is there for me all the time.

My family is of course something I will never quit and never stop devoting most of my energy towards. I love my wife and kids more then I can even understand. It is so strange how just the thought of something happening to them can make me sick to my stomach and bring me to tears almost instantly. They are my world!

My job? It’s a job. A good place to work. I am treated well. I love my co-workers. We are like a little family. I make a decent wage for a guy without a college education. The health benefits are good too. I am good at my job and am told that constantly but, what do I do really? I feel like what I do is so insignificant but I do not feel that way about myself.

This is going to sound very conceited but I will break it down so you all won’t hate me.

I have always had this sense of purpose. Even as a little kid I remember always thinking, “George, you are important and you have the power to change the world!” I would think this to myself as I was made fun of for being fat, As I contemplated suicide (but never did it for this reason), as I would cry myself to sleep hating what I looked like and my life in general, all these times I would stop and remember that I am here to do great things. I was put on the earth to be someone who made a difference.

Even though these thoughts have been with me all of my life I still have very little self esteem. It’s almost as if I have let myself down! How honked up is that? I hate myself and did not want to exist because I thought I was worthless but the reason I never went through with it was because I knew I was put here for a very important reason!

So now I have been blogging for about 6 months. I have made some great friends online. I love the OC and now that I have finally accepted the fact that I am a PWD I want to do more. Maybe this is where I am supposed to help people, make a difference in the world for diabetics, and do what it is God sent me here to do.

So now what?

I have no education besides high school. I have no direction or connections to anyone or anything in my area. I don’t know if I have the skills or talent to pull any of this stuff off.

Maybe I am kidding myself. Maybe the thought of purpose was a self defense to keep me from putting a bullet into my brain. But even as I type this I cannot calm the storm in my heart that is shouting, “George, you know that you are special and that you have a bigger purpose on this earth then you can see.”

God help me open my eyes to what it is.

Bad retailer! BAD! BAD! BAD!

***Below is an email I sent to the District Manager for a local frame store. I won't mention the name but lets say the owners are brothers. :)

Please let me know your thoughts on this.

I pulled in front of your La Habra store at 8:52 PM last night and saw that the store closed at 9PM. I told my wife that we should just run inside and see if we see anything that grabs us. As soon as I opened the door I was greeted by a lady that I assume was the manager on duty.

“May I help you?” She asked.

I responded with, “No, we are just looking for a couple of frames but we will be quick since I know you are closing soon.”

“Okay because we are closing in 7 minutes.” She said. (I thought this was a little rude since I already made it clear that I was sensitive to the time and would hurry. There was no need to reiterate.)

We walked around one or two aisles and I spotted a frame I really liked. We needed matting for a 5” x 7” picture in an 8” x 10” frame. We walked over to the other side of the store where all of the matting is kept. Before I got there a young man walked by us and said, “We are going to be closing in 5 minutes.”

Keep in mind, I have been in the store for 2 minutes and have been reminded about closing time twice even after I was the first person to bring it up!

I quickly thumbed through the matting to see if I could find one that worked with the frames and the pictures we have. I kept finding 8”x10” matting but for 4” x 6” pictures in the wrong area which was frustrating but understandable since it looked like a popular area of the store.

I decided to head to the counter to pay for the frames and see if they could find 2 plain white mats in the size that I needed. Before I reached the counter the manager who had greeted me at the door said, “Are you almost finished because I have to shut down the system in 2 minutes?”

This is now 3 times in 5 minutes.

“Okay,” I said (now a little snippier) “But I need your help and that is why I came up here. I cannot find the matting I need and…”

While pointed the direction I came from and interrupting me she said, “All of my matting is over there.”

I looked at her for a brief moment in shock and said, “Okay well I cannot find what I need but I guess I will go look on my own again!”

I stormed over to the rack and tried looking through different sections since the rack was in disarray. I was so upset that all the matting looked a shade of red.

“You know white is the first color to go.” I hear over my shoulder from the manager.

I just said, “Forget it.”

“Do you just want to buy what we have and see if we can find matting somewhere else?” my wife asked.

“Absolutely not!” I reply. I put the frames back where I found them and walked out of the door.

I have been trying to figure out how anybody in the year 2006 thinks that the old “we close at 9PM and we have to shut the system down” line is believable. You and I both know that the doors must be locked at closing but if a customer is in the store, you help them. You do not close out your drawers until they are gone and ESPECIALLY if we have a very good potential for a transaction. That really insulted my intelligence. The other thing that upset me was the attitude that we were bothering them or cramping their style. This is a place of business and the last thing these people wanted to do was any business with me or my money.

I loved the frames I found. Why no one was understanding or helpful is beyond me. I could not ask for help when I came in until I found what I wanted or at least had an idea and remember, I was in there for 5 minutes before I finally got beyond upset. I was considerate, cheerful (upon entering), and understanding until I realized that all I would receive from your associates was an attitude that I would not except from anyone.

I am not normally the kind of person to write a letter but I just had to convey my anger to someone who could make a difference. If I owned a business I would want to know if a customer was treated with such disrespect and disregard.

I will wait for your response.

George Simmons

***Working in customer service makes me so sensitive to stuff like this. We shall see what kind of response I get.

Toe Update

I am happy to report that my toe is almost back to it's normal shade of Me but not quite. It is sort of swollen and a bit red but no where near the deep dark purple that shocked the hell out of me on Sunday morning.

Thanks to all for your thoughts a prayers for the little roast beef loving swine. He is doing fine for now. I am still keeping a close watch on him until we are completely healed.