I'm crying now. Many nights I go to bed afraid I'll have a heart attack and won't wake up. If my husband goes to work in the morning, and we haven't told each other we love each other and I've gotten my kiss, I panic, thinking I'll have a heart attack and die before he gets home. It's a terrible way to think about things and live, and I wish I knew how to turn it off... I wish I knew, George. All I can tell you is that aren't alone, my friend.
I don't understand what it's like to feel like that about yourself, but I do understand what it feels like to worry like that about your child.
I check Riley's sugar at least twice during the middle of the night. Still, every single morning I get up the first thing I do is walk to his door and listen for his breathing. If I don't hear him breathing I walk in and place my hand on his chest. I don't worry about a heart attack. I worry about dead in bed syndrome. As soon as I know he's still alive I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer of thanks. I've been doing this every single morning for over 3 years now.
And, looming complications gets to me too. I found a statistic I used at Riley's walk last year and it has haunted me ever since. "People with Type 1 diabetes usually have some form of complication 20 years after thier diagnosis".
Riley was diagnosed when he was three. All I can do is wonder if he'll have complications by the time he's 23. It makes me cry every time I think about it.
George - We all feel this way - your not alone. Keep the focus on how wonderful your doing and how great you are. Stay strong, stay healthy, STAY NINJA. k2
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 10:57AM
Reader Comments (4)
I'm crying now. Many nights I go to bed afraid I'll have a heart attack and won't wake up. If my husband goes to work in the morning, and we haven't told each other we love each other and I've gotten my kiss, I panic, thinking I'll have a heart attack and die before he gets home. It's a terrible way to think about things and live, and I wish I knew how to turn it off... I wish I knew, George. All I can tell you is that aren't alone, my friend.
Already talked to you about this, but I'm also stopping by to say I enjoyed your post on the D.O.C. site.
Laters!
George (((big hug))).
I don't understand what it's like to feel like that about yourself, but I do understand what it feels like to worry like that about your child.
I check Riley's sugar at least twice during the middle of the night. Still, every single morning I get up the first thing I do is walk to his door and listen for his breathing. If I don't hear him breathing I walk in and place my hand on his chest. I don't worry about a heart attack. I worry about dead in bed syndrome. As soon as I know he's still alive I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer of thanks. I've been doing this every single morning for over 3 years now.
And, looming complications gets to me too. I found a statistic I used at Riley's walk last year and it has haunted me ever since. "People with Type 1 diabetes usually have some form of complication 20 years after thier diagnosis".
Riley was diagnosed when he was three. All I can do is wonder if he'll have complications by the time he's 23. It makes me cry every time I think about it.
Thank you for sharing such an honest post George.
George -
We all feel this way - your not alone. Keep the focus on how wonderful your doing and how great you are.
Stay strong, stay healthy, STAY NINJA.
k2