Am Eye Crazy?
Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 8:57AM "Well, everything looks great! I guess I'll see you next year!"
"Wait. So everything is normal. Then why does my eye hurt so much?"
"The change in weather I'm sure. Here are some eye drops. They should help." She opened up her drawer and handed me a box.
"Alright, well thanks!" I left the Ophthomologists office and called my wife to let her know that the whole eye thing was ok.
But then it hit me. Am I crazy? I mean, I have dry eyes and I think some awful thing is wrong with me. Why do I do that? Why do I freak out over any stupid little thing?
But then one little word popped into my head that to explain why I think the way that I do.
Diabetes.
We don't get the luxury of thinking a stubbed toe is not a big deal, or feeling like an eyelash is in your eye something to ignore. We can't because diabetes wants to destroy us from every angle possible it seems and so we must act on any change anywhere.
I don't know how you feel but it kind of makes me feel like a crazy person. The equivalent of checking on every single "bump in the night" because it is sure to be a boogieman or thief. The messing with my head is yet another side effect of diabetes, and I hate it too.
A good way for me to explain this craziness is to compare it to earthquakes and my fear of them. Ever since I was a kid, I have been told that the "Big One" is coming. A Gigantic quake that will shake all of our buildings to the ground and most of the southland will either sink into the ocean or become quicksand was going to happen any day now and you better be ready!
I have heard of this "Big One" since first grade and almost every year after that.
So now, anytime we have any sort of earthquake, the very first thought in my mind is, "Is this the 'Big One?'" I freak out if a big truck drives by and the building shakes. Every little 3.5 trembler makes me think I am going to die. I hate feeling that way.
Diabetes and Earthquakes. You would probably not expect these two things to have anything in common but in my bizarre brain, they do! They both have caused my brain to rewire itself into thinking any trembler is the start of something awful.
In a weird way, it may be best to keep my wiring as is.
At least that way I am always prepared for the worst.
Reader Comments (5)
Now that I'm approaching 5 years, I'm starting to get that way. Instead of worrying about being a hypochondriac, I'm worrying about what happens if I don't go to the doctor. (Of course my recent experience helped that line of thinking accelerate.)
Of course, it often turns into Murphy's law, doesn't it? Go to the doctor, it's nothing. Don't go and it's something.
Your not crazy (at least in this instance George,) not in the least. Continue to live your life,see all that is beautiful, and go to the Eye Doc often.
BACON!
Kelly K
Glad to hear everything is okay!
And not crazy at all. I am like that myself. I actually asked my doctor if he thought I was a hypochondriac. He just laughed at me and told me he'd be worried if I didn't react the way I did. *shrugs*
Happy Holidays!
I know exactly what you mean! My big stress lately came from having a plantar's wart on my foot. Just a wart - but, then all the second guessing starts: does it hurt because we just froze it, or is it the start of a big infection? Should I call the dr again because it hurts to step on it? Is it safe to have a hole burned in my foot? I was a wreck. Its gone now, and we move on - until the next time.
All part of the package, I guess. Sigh.
Merry Christmas, bolus often, and have a great new year!
Glad to hear that everything was okay!