Wednesday
Oct132010
Time On My Mind
Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 7:01AM Last night when I got home from Rejoice Band practice at church, I sat down at my desk to chow down some Taco Bell and check Facebook for updates and such.
I spotted a video tribute to one of my friends. At first I thought it was some sort of a joke but then as I clicked on his page I saw an outpouring of love notes and messages of grief written on his wall.
“What? No no, this is not real. What??” I was speaking aloud with no one home but my heart felt like it was going to burst. Our friend Mark was introduced to us through two very good friends of ours from Church. This was only 3 years ago and yet he had made his mark on my life.
I shed a lot of tears last night thinking about him, his partner Jeff, our friends, and the fun we have had together. Such a short time in my life and what an impact he made.
He was only 49 years old.
Death has a funny way of making the wheels turn in my head. I immediately remember all of the times I have
grieved for loved ones and all those feelings came back like a flood. I remember funeral stickers on cars, church services, and get togethers afterward for those healing memories we all share with one another.
I also start to think about my own life and wonder how much time I have left.
Lately, even before last night, this has been on my mind. All I have is time and am I living it to the fullest? Am I wasting it? Am I doing all I can with the time I have left here on earth? What am I doing with my time?
What am I hear for? To play guitar? To write about my life and share it with the world? To connect with my diabetic family and support each one I meet? To make silly videos? To tweet? To laugh? Cry? Hurt?
I do believe there is a reason. Call me crazy but I really do feel as if there is some sort of plan for each and every one of us. What that plan is I hope will be revealed over time and hopefully before time is up.
Tomorrow I have to go to the lab to get blood drawn. I need to make an appointment to see my endo since I skipped the last one. I have so many things I have to do. We as diabetics have lots of “HAVE TO’s” everyday besided the usual “have to’s.” What about the want to’s?
I don’t want to end my life wishing I had done all I should have and could have with my time. I want to spend the time I have here using the talents and gifts that God gave me to the fullest.
Mark had a way of making everyone around him feel like his friend. Like family. Even if you just met him you knew you were accepted as is and that he cared about you.
That is how I want to be. I think it is the only way to be. At least it is the only way I know how to be. I figure if I spend my time here, loving for, caring about, and supporting my diabetes family than I will have done what I was put here to do.
Mark used to use this quote in his emails. "You have not lived a perfect day... unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you."
Thank you Mark for showing me another example of how people should love one another. I will miss you dearly but don’t worry, I will see you later.
Reader Comments (12)
you wrote "That is how I want to be. I think it is the only way to be."
you already are... continue on the path you are on, it is a good one. be open to changes in directions should they present themselves and be found worthy of consideration. love on your family, and let them and all of us love on you...
You and I both understand life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
God does not measure our days as we do. When we are done, He decides when we move onwards.
We miss our people who have gone before, but you're right in saying you will see them again.
I've been there; one of my closest friends from college passed away from cancer a few years ago at age 36 (see my post at http://goo.gl/jw6p ), but I echo the sentiment about seeing them again. Now, if only we could do something about the workweek?!
George, I'm sorry to hear about your friend Mark. I think we all do the best we can, knowing we can't possibly live life to the fullest because there are just so many forks along the road. My vote: write another excellent song, please.
George,
I am sorry for your loss. You have given your friend a lovely tribute.
"I know the plans that I have for you..." Remember that. We may not always know the plans, but He does. And that's the important part. You are making a huge impact on people. I wonder if you realize how much... Prime example was your 20 yr anniversary party and the walk. If people didn't love you so much, they never would have gone through the trouble to be there or try to be there.
As for doing something for someone who can never pay you back, that was one of the things that my pastor spoke about last week. It was one of his steps to true freedom in Christ.
You have made a huge impact on my life and I thank you for sharing yourself with all of us.
I know there is a purpose for all of this. There is a reason that we are connected. You are an amazing man and you have touched so many lives. Keep your path. You are making a difference in the life of others...you are a gift.
I'm so sorry. I lost a friend 5 years ago ... I still have her number in my cell phone and, sometimes, I still just feel SHOCKED that she's gone.
We do have a purpose in life.
I know all of this will make sense one day.
One day, I want to get to Heaven....and take as many people with me as I can.
George, I agree with others...you are already there. I also think it's awesome you are reflecting and your thoughts are about giving to others. That says a lot about you as a man. I would love to shake your hand one day.
Its really a good and true quote" You have not lived a perfect day... unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you." That you said in the post.Impressive writing skills you have.I love to read it.Reverse Phone Lookup
Thinking of you George.
This is hard stuff George. But I know that you are on the right path with your life because you are asking for that guidance we all need.