Guest Post Week - Kerri Sparling
Friday, November 26, 2010 at 6:00AM I am so honored to have Kerri writing the last post in my first Guest Post week. Her blog was the first one I read and something tells me that it's probably one of the first ones you found too. She is a great friend and I am so thankful to have her in my life.
Still Learning
I’m happy to be posting over at SuperG’s blog house today because I have something to say that I wanted to say off the radar of my own blog. Because suddenly, my father has started reading my blog.
And he’s learning some things for the very first time.
I’ve been a type 1 diabetic for almost my whole life, but my mother was my primary caregiver at home. After my initial diagnosis, both of my parents were involved in my hospitalization and that steep learning curve of “what now?” But once the dust had settled a little bit and we were getting to know this new health mess, my father went back to focusing on his job and career. That’s not a criticism at all, but it is how we handled things in our family: my mom focused on my siblings and I, and my father worked hard to ensure that she could stay home with us as much as possible.
From about third grade to when I took over diabetes management entirely on my own (in college), my mother is the one who came to Joslin with me. She understood the diabetes jargon, like “A1C” and “Can you please stop leaving your syringes in the fridge.” (Bad habit. Never quite broke it until I went on the pump.) Mom was my “nurse” and she understood the ups and downs – literally – that happen in a life with diabetes.
My father was involved, but not the way that my mother was involved. I’m not sure if he ever saw any of the really bad childhood lows. He rarely gave me my injection (but when he did, he did the fastest and most pain-free versions), and he wasn’t involved in the daily insulin dose adjustments and chasing me down for finger sticks. He just didn’t understand on the level that my mother and I did, because he didn’t have to. My mom had it covered, so he didn’t worry.
Things have changed a bit in the last year or so, though. His eyes are opened to what a real life with diabetes is like because now he reads my blog. He’s read the posts about wicked lows, and persistent highs, and how diabetes affected the birth of his granddaughter. He’s seen detailed posts about the pump and the CGM and all kinds of stuff that I’m pretty sure he has no idea what was going on behind the scenes. He’s learning all the nuances and fears of diabetes that I’ve been living with for a lifetime.
Last week, when I ended up taking a nap while the baby napped and was late in getting a blog post up on SUM, the phone rang. It woke me up from my cat nap, and I groggily answered, “Hello?”
“Kerri. This is your father.” (He always says that. Like I’m wondering who it might be.)
“Hey, Dad. What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just saw that you hadn’t posted. So I wanted to check and see if everything was okay.”
“Everything’s fine. Baby was up late last night and early this morning. I’m just working in a quick nap.”
We talked for a few minutes, and then hung up. No big discussion about why he thought I might not have been okay. No mention of diabetes at all. But I know he understands now. Blogging hasn’t just helped to explain diabetes to the people who don’t know me, but it’s also opened up the lines of communication and understanding with some of the people who know me the best.
Reader Comments (9)
I'm honored to be posting here, George. Thanks for having me - and for being the very coolest Uncle Ninja that my baby girl has ever had! :)
Great post! I find the same thing happening with my blogging, too. My mom reads every blog post, so when I go see my parents, she'll bring up something I've written. My dad will go, "What?", and my mom will respond: "You should be reading her blog!" Gotta love moms. :)
Hmmm! I never thought of it that way. I tend to hide my blog from most family and friends because I don't want to feel as if I have to filter my thoughts. I guess maybe I have treated it as more of a place for me to be free. Then again, maybe it is different for me because I am a mom and not a pwd??
Kerri is the first DC blogger I found. And I do so enjoy her posts. And she has led me to your posts. Thanks. You are both Super.
I have some family that hasn't quite got it as far as my diabetes is concerned. But most are not around it all day. My daughter who grew up with a diabetic mom is now in her 20's realizing its seriousness. "you need to test mom" Her and my husband are my great supporters now. Made the mistake one time of slipping off their radar. My daughter and I had (out of the ordinary) went to the gym one morning. We left at the same time from the gym. But without telling her or my husband, I called my massage therapist. She fit me in right away. So, for over an hour, I had disappeared. My, did I ever get a chewing out. But I found out how much they both worry.
Thanks for the posts. Christine
Ha! My mom says the same thing. Hi honey. This is your mother.
Yes. Yes, it is. :D
Great insight, Kerri. Thanks for sharing. Your dad probably likes understanding and feeling close to you, even if it is a bit later.
great explanation, Kerri. Same at my house when I was growing up~!
Nice that we have so many people to check in/up on us :)
Hope you're having a great time, G!
Glad to have found you through Kerri's blog. We have grandparents who are clueless about the amount of care our daughter requires. Yet, they think they should be able to take her on trips without us. It has caused lots of problems, since we can't let her travel with anyone who is not aware of how to help her. We are still trying to work through this one and it is difficult. Thanks for the post!
thanks for this post. i am the mom with the T1 daughter. my husband is the dad who knows the basics, but focuses on earning the income (that includes fabulous health insurance, for which could not be more thankful) and helping keep the home and property in good repair.
i sometimes say "we" when talking to the doctor - and my daughter corrects me. it is "her", not "we". at 15, she is amazingly independent with her care and does an incredible job at it all. BUT, just as this little baby became like a living, breathing extension of me and my heart....just as i can look at her across a room and know exactly what she is thinking....i very much live this disease with her as though it is me. my gut knows how much to bolus, when to correct, how to adjust the basal, how to balance the fat content of lunch against the insulin against the afternoon's activity....
i realize the point you're making is about your dad. but, it did my mama heart some good to hear about your mom living it with you. and i have every confidence that my girl will be confident, diligent, loving and enjoying a joy-filled life - as you are.
Great guest post Kerri (and great guest choice G-Money!).
I've enjoyed my dad reading my posts. I think it allows him a little better understanding of stuff that I'm dealing with or activities around the OC. Although, he's usually more "caught up" than I am, so HE tells ME about stuff happening around the OC. :-)