Mini Meltdown
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 10:25AM It all started yesterday.
I realized I was not going to have enough insulin in my pump to make it through until I got off of work so I left a little early, or I should say I tried to.
As I was heading out of my office but boss. The big boss. The one whose name is on the building said, “I need to speak to you before you leave.” I asked him if we could please meet that moment and he said sure.
After about 30 minutes we were done and I was rushing out the door.
Traffic was living up to Southern California standards so the ride home was much worse then normal. I was reminded by my buddies on Twitter that Minimed pumps have a back up reserve but I am pretty sure I went through that since when I finally got my set changed and checked, I was 297. Blah. It could have been stress so I cannot rule that out. Anyhow, moving on.
Last night was band practice at church so I inhaled half of my dinner and took off to rehearsal. That ended around 8:30 so I knew I would make it home for the Lost premier. Sweet timing.
When I got home I checked my BG. 568!!!!
I bolused and waited to see if it came down before I yanked the site. Sure enough I checked about an hour later and was down to 417. Nice, although I felt horrible.
When the show was finally over and I was ready for bed I checked and I was 244. My pump suggested a correction which I did and promptly fell asleep with visions of smoke monsters in my head.
At 3:10 I woke to a loud moaning and someone had turned the heat on so high in the house that I was sweating like mad. I had no clue who did it but someone must have put extra blankets on my because I couldn’t move.
“You’re low honey. Here’s your machine.” She handed me my WaveSense meter that I keep on my dresser. She put in a strip and handed me the lancing device. It took all I had to lift up my arms to punch that plunger. Blood made it on the strip but no reading came up.
“Oh crap, the battery is dead. Let me grab the other and find some glucose tabs.” She left the room. I closed my eyes and thought to myself that this was it, it was over. She was not going to make it back in time and this is the end. So. Be. It.
“HERE!” She handed me some glucose tabs and got my meter ready. I chomped down the powdery tabs and pricked my finger. My hand dropped to my side but Jasmine already had a strip in the machine and grabbed the drop just like a pro.
“53.” She knew I felt bad because I rarely have trouble sitting up in bed. She made me something to eat and I went back to bed as soon as my BG read 79 but still I felt extremely dizzy.
“It’s 6:45!” My wife took our son to school and typically when she gets back I am getting out of the shower. I tried to hop up and out of bed but it took a lot of effort to even stand up.
“It’s 7:15 honey. Are you alright?” I woke in the shower standing under the hot water trying to make myself move but I hurt everywhere. I checked my BG and I was 258.
I called work at 7:40 from my driveway to tell them I was on my way. I am supposed to be at work at 7:30 by the way.
When I got here I slid into my office as quietly as I could. I hate explaining how diabetes screwed up my morning.
I opened my vial of strips and saw only 3.
I forgot to grab an extra vial of strips this morning.
I closed the vial with a snap and dropped my head into my hands. I lost it. The tears were not stopping and I felt like a little kid. I felt hopeless, tired, fed up, frustrated, and just plain sad.
When I finally got it all out I figured I would do my best today and just see how it goes. It’s all I can do.
Reader Comments (20)
George, I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a huge bear hug right now!
Diabetes sucks some days. You'll get through it... You're SuperG! The Ninja! I hope you feel better soon!
Love ya!
That sucks. What a rough time. {{hugs}}
ugh. i'm sorry. That majorly sucks for you. I am having my own crummy diabetes day, so i feel ya. I had those EXACT same feelings this morning when i woke up at 303.
feel better soon!
George, I'm with you brother. I found myself in almost the same situation, though not with a Low last night but a High and then staying up as it came down. The bustling this morning made me late to work, and I only had 2 strips for the day... Until I got home. Yours sounds worse than mine, and that sucks - I'm sorry to hear. Hope your day has gotten better!
Oh George. This is like the perfect storm of sh!t, my friend. :( I'm so sorry you had all those crappy highs and then the epic low (ugh), and now you're low on supplies for the day.
But you are NOT low on support. We're all here for you, today and all days.
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-ninja-skills-squirrel.jpg
This squirrel is also here for you. Because he's badass. And so are you.
((((HUGS)))) We may have been having a "simulcry" this morning. I imploded into a teary mess this morning on my (attempted) run that diabetes wrecked. Here's hoping the rest of your day goes better.
(((((hugs)))))
I had a night like this a few weeks ago. I ended up calling in diabetic.
George -
I think your last paragraph says so much about many of us. We do our best today and just see how it goes. Take care and may tomorrow be better than today.
You are so not alone. I am sorry today is a crappy day. I am so so so sorry about the high, low, high dance that D likes to lead.
You are so right, all we can do is our best. prayers for your strength today.
What a crummy night and day you had. Consider yourself hugged.
Because of your post, I've put an extra thing of strips in my bag to put in my desk at work tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be better...
Jeeesshhh....one of those times when what should make sense doesn't and what should work wont....I'm glad you're back at it and plugging ahead. I often wonder what it would be like to never think of the things related to D for 24 hours. It would sure seem like a heavy weight lifted from my mind.....all of ours actually. Hang in there bro.... Thank God for our wives who look after us and do the right things for us as they have to live through the craziness too right.
Peace .........Bob
Wow! Hugs are with you as I am sure you know we all know too well how that scenario goes.
I have to admit that I would have claimed a day to the "D" myself and not gone in after yo-yo-ing back and forth with the blood sugars! But glad to hear you picked yourself up and dusted yourself off and went on about the day. It sucks a lot of the time, but it's all we can do and it's a good inspirational story to show that even when we're faced with obsticles, we still keep on truckin'.
Hope the rest of the week goes better for you.
George - I hope everything turned out better. Keep your head up high. We have all gone through those moments of forgetting strips or under-estimating how much insulin you will need for work, or a trip, etc. Just fight through it and you'll come out on top.
Best wishes.
:-( biggest Ugh! Ever. :-(
wow, your wife is totally awesome for reacting and helping you so quickly.
Praying that tomorrow is better for you.
P.S. Kogi's. Woot. :-)
take care.
Thanks for sharing George. You've inspired me. Most people don't realize how crummy it can feel to be a human yo-yo. Hope today is a better one. Kudos for letting yourself cry -- sometimes it's just what we need.
Oh honey - some days nothing D-related goes right and it just sucks, doesn't it. I wish we could all take a D-vacation together. You are tough though, you can do this. You are strong enough to keep up the fight. And we're all here, fighting with you!!
It's a trixie disease this diabetes. God forbid you have a day where you can't stay in front of it. Don't worry, tomorrow you will whip that trixie right back into submission.
George-
I am so sorry you had to endure lows and highs. J rocks! I'm sending you prayers and hugs! I hope today goes much better. Do you carry a back up pen?
That's a rough ride the D took you on man. No wonder you felt like crap! Sometimes it seems to help to just have a mini meltdown and get it all out.