Coming Clean
Thursday, April 1, 2010 at 7:55AM I have been blogging at this site for over 4 years now and I have to tell you something that shames me to admit.
In fact you may want to close this browser page after you read it but I beg you to please read the whole thing because it is an important message.
I am not diabetic.
Up until yesterday I was a secret spy for a diabetes product manufacturing company who paid me millions of dollars to “become diabetic” and learn all about your lives so they could make the best sugar free snacks and low-carb bacon on the planet.
I was hired by Halle Berry who found me at a Baskin Robbins back in 2001. The idea was for me to learn about type 1's and she was to learn about type 2's. She made the mistake on TV several years ago of saying that she was a type 1 and then realized the mistake mid sentence and switched it saying she weaned herself off of insulin and wanted to identify with type 2's. So smooth. I love Halle for being so quick to feed the world that response. Wow right?
In these four years I have discovered that being diabetic sucks beyond belief but being able to make yourself bleed without crying must mean you possess some sort of super power so that seems cool. I also think the friendships I have made are pretty awesome too. Thanks for being nice to me.
So to all of the OC I hope you still will have me, even just for the laughs back at old times (when I was diabetic) and we can still chat.
Hey, I bet I could play a diabetic in a movie or something? I’ll have to ask Halle about that.
Oh yeah, one last thing.
April Fools.
Reader Comments (12)
Oh no!
So was Ninja a scam??? The Bacon Love isn't real?!?!?!
I'm crushed. Devastated. What ever will I do. How will I go on...
Wait. April 1. Ah.
Cheerios. With Milk.
That Is All.
Teehee. You funny.
Maybe every April Fools' we can claim to not be diabetic, just because, possibly fool our bodies into thinking such? No?
Hmmm.
Here's to your debut in Hollywood!!
I'm so glad you're April Fooling... cause otherwise I'd have to come to Cali and hunt you down and yell at you. LOL :)
Oh, if oooonly this could be true. I would love you to death even if this were really the case. Diabetic or not, you're a great dude.
And I agree with Crystal - I wish we could "fool" our bodies into thinking our pancreas wasn't shot and we weren't diabetic. That'd be awesome!
I love the part about Halle Berry! Great post
Shenanigans!
In response:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/my-first-bacon.shtml
Ok, I'll come clean, too. My son really isn't a Type 1, we just pretend he is, because we love finding random test strips and pen needle covers imbeded in the carpet. Plus, we find such joy in paying the extra high insurance premiums month after month----you know, instead of buying things like a new car. April Fool!
you gave me a good giggle!!!!
Very convincing, I truly wish it was true!!
I always knew there was something fishy about you...
there's no suga without sheen. you betta had been playin'...BOY!
LOL, Thanks so much for the giggle, George. I wish it were true though. Well, the not diabetic part at least. Love you heaps!