From Firsts to Lasts
Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 10:14AM Being a dad means you have lots of firsts with your kids. Those first few years are filled with first words and first steps. Than seeing those first signs of independence and seeing their personalities develop.
And it goes on.
First days of school, first loves, first heart breaks.
But now with my oldest a senior in high school it is time for some “lasts.” And it is tougher than I thought it would be.
My son has been in band since 6th grade and is the drum major at his high school. During football season the band practices every Thursday night to brush up the half time show for the football game and also to prepare for any competition on the Saturday after which happens often in football season.
Well this week the football game, the last of the regular season, is tonight. Last night was George’s last band practice of his high school career.
When I got home I asked him how is day was not thinking about practice at all. He replied with an unenthusiastic “It was weird.”
“What made it weird son?”
“Well, tonight was my very last band practice. I dunno, it was just…weird.” I could see the look on his face and could see how much it was getting to him. His heart is all about music and band is so important to him that I know he misses it already.
I started thinking back to my senior year and being drum major. I don’t remember ever having an issue with my last band practice or football season at all.
And then it dawned on me.
I was hardly in school that fall. That was the fall I was diagnosed. I missed football games, competitions, and so much more. My lasts were kind of taken away because of diabetes but oh well.
Tonight is the Senior Game when every senior involved in the football game is brought out to the field with their parents or guardians and are introduced. Before the game they have all the senior football players come out. At half time all the cheerleaders and band members who are seniors will come out with their parents.
I am already a wreck just thinking about it.
With every “last” comes a new “first” and that warms my heart. My joy in raising my children was and is always about helping them to be functioning, successful, members of society and seeing them respond. The closer my son gets to being an adult the happier I am in the choices we made raising him. The proof is in the pudding.
Sugar free pudding.
Reader Comments (4)
I definitely get where your son is coming from in this post--I remember when I played my last game of soccer for my HS team, just knowing that there wouldnt be a "next year", at least not in the same sense as years before. Its a strange feeling when chapters in our life come to a close. But there always is a next year, a new normal that we can create--and that feeling of loss from what came and went makes the new normal that much more precious. Great read, George!
Aww. My sister must be going through the same thing with H - his last soccer banquet was last weekend. So many "firsts" to come even as an adult, though!
Thanks for sharing this, George. You're so right: with every closing comes the start of a new adventure. You obviously have a lot to be proud of, so enjoy that sugar free pudding my friend!
So these are your first "lasts" in a way. What are you going to do with your last "lasts" with Gillian?! You are going to be a mess!