Sick of it
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 at 9:08AM The ups and downs of wanting to take care of my diabetes is on the way down.
I am just sick of it. Sick of checking my blood, putting in infusion sets, inserting CGM sensors, taking pills, counting carbs, bolusing properly, correcting mistakes, going to the doctors, all of it. Every last bit.
I know this doesn't last and I know I have to get over it but right now, I couldn't care less.
My head is spinning around trying to make sense of this lack of motivation at honestly, I think it's just that I am completely and utterly bored. Diabetes is boring. At least all the steps you have to take are boring.
So do I try to get the new Dexcom? Maybe a new device on the way will brighten me up some? A new meter? Really? Is that all I can come up with?
I try writing about uplifting things and nope, I can't do it. Burnout, total burnout is where I am now.
So now what?
Reader Comments (12)
Just wanted to let you know I'm right there with you. I don't have any big inspirational anything, but I'm here. With you. You're not alone.
George, I absolutely feel your pain. I am going through the same thing right now for myself, T1 for 10 years, and my 11 year old son, T1 for about a year and a half. That's the scary part. I need to motivate myself better, but am really burned out. Anyway, love your posts and hang in there.
I think all of us have felt this at one time or another. You are just going thru another 'rotation' of it. I don't know, but it seems 'Cyclic'. Whether it truly is or not I'm not sure, but as we all have gone through this before, perhaps just getting away from it for a day or ttwo... Not 'eating your emotions' or such but maybe heading out with your family to a new neighborhood, walk about, whatever would help you get out of yourself a bit.
I know sometimes a new "Diabetes Toy" can change my mood for a time, but it doesn't stop the fact I have IDDM and it's for life.
Hugs, my brother, no one ever said life on this earth was Fair or Easy.
Keep writing about it. Just get it out, accept challenges and keep reaching out.
We are all here for you, just like when one of us burns out, you would be there for us.
Get out and get yourself a new d-toy, you're right it helps :)
Dam diabetes. It. just. sucks. I'm pretty burned out right now too....
Take a breath. And just keep trying. That's all any of us can do.
(((hug)))
I think this right here is one of the most under-appreciated things about our diabetes care. The constant freaking grind.
Sorry you're feeling this way, George. Hope it doesn't last much longer. I've been feeling that way lately myself, just not really caring - not carb counting and shooting way up, and also not re-connecting my pump when needed and seeing those same sky high BGs. Actually, to mix things up, I've been pondering going on a pump break and going back to MDI - just to have a different routine. Last two times I did this, I was more attentative to eating and carb-counting and actually saw better BGs and even a significant A1C drop. Obviously, I'm a pump lover and wouldn't sacrifice it long-term. But I think it's what Dr. Polonsky always says about giving ourselves a little break and mixing things up. Anyhow, hope it improves. Best your way, bud.
I don't think a new meter will do the job. I started using the Verio a few weeks ago. Although it's an attractive white meter with a bright color screen and gives pattern alerts, it's the same thing as every other meter: blood in, number out, blood in, number out, blood in, number out....
Now the new Dex might do it. (I think you got a nameless mention in Wil's post today.)
Hope you're feeling better soon.
This may be bad advice, but when I'm feeling like this I find taking a Big D-Day Off helps. Lounge around on the couch. Eat nothing but crap food. Yes, test and bolus, but don't worry about the numbers too much. Just take a break. And most of all, wallow about how much diabetes sucks!! Usually, half way through my Diabetes Burnout Day I can feel things turning around and I'm ready to get back to it.
Good luck, my friend. LYLB
Oi. I feel you, G. It has been a year of just feeling fad-ey for me. My endo says it's normal at the 3 decade marker to feel some sense of burn out, and has encouraged me to not beat myself up for too long - but to also not let this sink me so far I end up hurt in the end because of it. I don't have any good advice, I wish I did. What I can offer is a commiseration. I feel you - for real.
A new toy is doing it for me - the iBGStar. I think the fact that it is new AND that it really cuts down on the crap I have to carry has helped me a lot.
I feel you buddy!
ugh man. i wish i had some helpful hints. i like what someone said about writing about it. you don't even need to post it. just getting it out. or working on something creative. i dunno. hang in there.