Accomplishments Big and Small - DBlog Week Day 4
Thursday, May 16, 2013 at 9:04AM We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small - think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.).
I was diagnosed as a 17 year old and for the most part I completely ignored my diabetes for a long time. It wasn't until going into the hospital with DKA and finding the DOC that I turned some things around.
When I think about accomplishments the first thing that comes to mind is quitting smoking. When I really think about my 15 years smoking and the 7 since I quit I realize it was not so much an accomplishment as it was something I just needed to do. I knew I needed to do it, for my health and family but was it something I could be proud of? Yes, in a way. I am proud I did it but I am not proud that I had to. That I was ever even addicted in the first place.
So when I think about something I have done that really changed me and my diabetes life I would say it was writing a song about my diabetes.
Several years ago a tune came to me on the drive home from work. The words just started falling all around me, about how I never wanted this disease. Nothing I did made me have this and it sucks. It sucks because it never ever ends. With all the noise it brings to my life both literally and figuratively you would swear it was yelling in my ear all the time.
"You're here with me but not by choice. You scream so loud, without a voice. I learned your name but still I don't understand why you never end."
The verses took me from diagnosis, to denial, to acceptance, and to finally feeling empowered to do something about it.
The last verse ends with, "'cause we can't stop, no that's for sure. Until we find ourselves and everyone a cure." And yet the chorus takes me back to that feeling of sorrow. That feeling like the never ending battle is hard because it is never ending. We can have hope and yet still feel sad, defeated, and depressed because that light at the end of the tunnel feels like a mirage.
Writing a song all by myself and recording it was a major accomplishment for me. So much so that I have not done it since.
Not By Choice may be a short song but it is full of my fears, my journey, my hope, my struggles, and my desire to do more. To not give up. To care for others. All of that is in there.
And it warms my heart to know other people have listened to it and have it on their iPod's somewhere. Any money I made from the sale of the song was donated to the International Diabetes Federation.
If it brought one person comfort or a feeling of not being alone than it is as big a hit song as it needs to be for me.
I also used the song in a slideshow I shared at my 20th anniversary of diagnosis party. I had asked members of the DOC that could not come to the party to send pictures of themselves with the number of years they have been living with diabetes. I still get chills watching it.
Reader Comments (9)
Amazing accomplishment! It's now found it's way onto my itunes :-)
I love your song,it is the theme song of the DOC.
Love the song, George. And the slideshow along with the song is even better. Thanks for brightening my day:)
I know the song by heart and sing along with you every time my iTunes shuffles to it. It is an awesome accomplishment and I'm lucky to get to listen to it when ever I need a boost. (And hey, look, that's me and K.C. on the video cover!!! Which I knew, but always get a thrill whenever I see it again!!)
Thanks for the slideshow... really picked up my day.
I've been saving this post for last, because I know it takes a lot more uninterrupted attention to watch than to read (also can't do it at work!). Tomorrow, I reach my own 32-year milestone, and while I had planned on doing nothing to recognize it, this video changed my mind. Just seeing the names, the faces, and the years -- some familiar to me and some not -- captivated me. Seeing in others made me realize just how precious every year - and every day - is. I don't know exactly what tomorrow will bring, but I can't let it go by unacknowledged like it did for the last thirty-one years. Thank you so much for this.
Thank you for sharing your song and your story.
I think I love this song even more now than when you first did it. You are amazing, G-$! Thanks for sharing yourself with us.
Best song ever about diabetes, about strength, about struggles, about us all. It shuffles its way into my ears a few times a week and I each time I get teary eyed but love it still. Thanks for sharing the slide show too - such beautiful people.