Find Your Face
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 12:11PM When you look in the mirror who do you see? What kind of a person? Do you like what you see? Do you even look?
I used to look at my face and try and find something I liked. Since I was a kid self esteem has been a struggle. Until one day I spotted something I liked. Something I thought was one really good thing about me, my ears.
My ears are big but don’t stick out much. I have really good ear lobes so when I decided to get them pierced I knew I had plenty of room but they are also not so big that they look weird. My ears were the best part about me, and really the only part I liked.
It’s sad when I look back and think about how little I thought of myself. At the same time though I was determined to find something to hold onto, something to make me feel like I was worth something and as insignificant as ears can seem, it was what I liked.
When I got diabetes I had a new thing to hate about myself. I remember several times I would be in the restroom washing my hands and catch my face in the mirror. Staring back at me was someone who was broken. Unfixable and probably not going to live very long. Definitely not going to be able to live the life he thought. Often I would watch my face change and see tears from the guy staring back at me. Then I would find those ears and focus on the little part of me that I really liked.
Fast forward to today. I still stop and look at myself to see the changes time had on my face physically and reflect on my life. I don’t hate the face as much as I used to. Knowing that I have beautiful wife that loves me makes me know that whatever is in the mirror was enough to get her to look my way. I look at my eyes and see that they are same eyes that are on my daughter who is absolutely gorgeous. Those ears I like are the same ears that my son has which makes me love them even more.
It is not easy sometimes to see that we have a lot more to offer than we think. We don’t always think we are worth it or worthy of any sort of praise. I know I question my talent when it comes to writing music and writing on this blog. It is hard to like what you do and not feel like you are conceited but recognizing what you do and what you can offer the world is an important step in figuring out your path in life and growing into having a healthy opinion of yourself.
If you have an extra second when you are near a mirror (and no one is around) you should try doing this. Lean in close. See your face. Find the unique parts that make you the beautiful person you are. Find the parts you love and know that what you think is not so great is only your opinion and that others would think differently. Remember that no disease, no scar, no color, no style, or even good ear lobes define you and your worth. You are priceless and can offer so much to this world.
Take a moment.
Locate a mirror.
Find your face.
Love yourself.
Reader Comments (7)
Dude, you have no idea how much I need this today.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the office bathroom to gaze in the mirror.
I hope no one catches me.
Wow, G. This was deep. I needed this today so very much. Thanks, bro! :-)
Thank you.
I was not sure I wanted to publish this post but I went with my gut and did it. I had a moment today where I questioned if I was any good at anything. It's so easy to fall back into that kid who hated everything about yourself, except your ears!
Wow! This post really hits home for me and it's diabetes fault actually! I used to really like my face but then I lost a bunch of weight with my diagnosis DKA and a lot of it was from my face. I got that "sunken in" look. When I got back to a healthy weight, I don't think I gained it back in the same places I lost it from. I think my face still looks weird. Especially when I see pictures of me smiling, it draws attention to how much extra skin there is!
But because you tell me to, I will try to like it! :)
Hmmm. This is a very powerful post G-Money, and one that took courage to post. Your gut is good for all of us. Thank you.
Beautiful -- I expecially loved how you see yourself in your children. That's such a good reminder of how we are not what we look like, just like we are not this disease. But both are a part of us and make up the big picture of who we are. I've always felt like the ugly duckling myself, but my kids are beyond beautiful to me and by golly, they are the fruit of MY loins!
Always good to remember: "God don't make no junk"
Thanks for sharing this very personal post, George.