Frustration
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 9:31AM Lately, I have been an emotional wreck. Every other email I read has me welling up with tears. Every other conversation with my daughter turns into a heated debate. Every bill I get in the mail is making me depressed.
And no I am not pregnant.
My blood sugars have been all over the place too. Yesterday I never saw a number over 150 but this morning I woke up to a 170 and have been fighting highs all morning. So the question is, are my emotions causing the up and down BG’s or are my up and down BG’s causing the emotions?
I hate this.
I hate that sneaky seeping diabetes does into every facet of our lives. The way it can cause confusion and frustration, and how it can be affected by confusion and frustration!
HOW CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING RIGHT?!?!
You still with me? What I am trying to say is that diabetes has a way of making me second guess everything and as of late, it is driving me nuts.
I need to be able to count my carbs, bolus accordingly, and my BG’s are where they are supposed to be. Why can’t I have that? Why can’t we have that?
Would we complain about how annoying diabetes is if all the tools, techniques, and medicines just worked? I mean, without all the variables? The thing is, even if things worked the way they are “supposed” to and variables didn’t matter, Diabetes would still be awful. I just think that the frustration level for me, right now, is so high that I cannot see past much more.
Things are going to change. I will get over this I am sure. But right now, I am hating my diabetes life.
Reader Comments (7)
I wish you strength in pushing through this tough period. It's not going to last forever - even if it feels like it will..
I know what you mean, G. Give yourself a big hug for me since I can't physically do it. Lots of love!
I think annoying is one of the few things no doctor ever dares mentioning about living with diabetes. Half the time, even when you play by all of the ever-changing rules, you get hit in the face with a curveball. You don't have to love your diabetes life because there's really nothing to love about it -- it sucks. Just try not to punish yourself over it!
I understand what you mean perfectly... I wonder if this feeling is going around for everyone of the Diabetes community... My last post was something like this. I wrote it a couple of days ago. I can't get control it seems, because Diabetes has too tight a hold on me. It's doing what it wants and I can't seem to get the upperhand...
Ditto what Scott S. says.
I was also thinking that your stress level is probably UBER high with the big party and stuff coming up on Saturday. Don't be too hard on yourself man. We are masters at rolling with the punches, and that is what you need to do now. Plus your schedule has been all wacky with jury duty in Compton (I swear I thought that was only on old rap videos), etc. Crazy stuff man. Ditto what Sarah and Bob say too. Hugs and strength man. Hugs and strength.
I know exactly what you mean. It is just weird how times like this happens. A new month is coming and I hope things get better!
Have you looked up Jenny Ruhl from bloodsugar101 or David Mendosa and Dr Richard Bernstein? They have helped me get my A1C down to 5.5% and may have some useful info that helps you as well.
All the best
Steve