Burnt - #DOCBurnout2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015 at 7:29AM Oh how fitting a day to post this.
Friends, I have been burned out. Not just in the DOC but all over my D life. Diabetes has been a complete asshole lately.
Never in my almost 25 years having diabetes has it been this unpredictable, this bizarre. So much so that I have almost given up on ever bolusing before a meal and would rather play catch up correcting.
And even correcting is not working at all like any other time in my life.
So getting online and reading about diabetes is hard to do when you feel like you are failing beyond belief. Sometimes it is hard to hear people say, "you're not a failure."
Is it depression? Maybe. Maybe a form of it. I am more angry and fed up than I am depressed in the sense of feeling sad. It is not sadnesss, it is anger.
The stupid thing is that I KNOW the DOC can pull me out of this. That I am not alone. That maybe if I read somewhere that someone else was having such a horrible time in their diabetes life right now it would help by reminding me that I am, in fact, not alone. And yet I am choosing it, or at least did up until now.
So when I heard about the #DOCBurnout2015 day I knew I wanted to post about it.
And of course, now I feel better.
Also this kitten on my new glucometer helps.
Reader Comments (7)
Kitten always always help. Love and hugs to you, my friend!!
OK, that kitten on the meter is AWESOME!!!!! I so want that.
Secondly, I hear you. Felt this way for some time about the You Can Do This message. I knew it could bring me out of a funk, and from a "diabetes won't stop me" advocacy side, I know the power of it. But I just felt that I couldn't, that I didn't believe it for myself. And how do you tell it to others when you don't believe in it for yoursef??! Had to look at myself a lot, and figure out what I was being overly and wrongly critical about. And also see that the peer support is something that I really needed more than I knew to help on the D-management and other side. Hope you find some balance, and things start being not so crazy, George.
I'm sorry to hear that diabetes is not being kind to you at the moment, and I hope you find your spark again soon!
My August was horrible too! Things that I totally thought I had under control and then my site wouldn't let insulin through, sickness, so busy I forget bolusing and faulty insulin happened. Gah! I was totally planning on going to the doctor at the end of the month with a bigger drop in A1C than it actually was. One day at a time. One day at a time.
Way back when... You were everyone's cheerleader. You looked for the positive for each of us. Now - you just might have to do that for yourself. Pat yourself on the back every single time that you feel good about life - and know that we all appreciate you!
I know it will get better for you. I read your low blood sugar post. So glad you are ok. I wish the doctors could explain why these things happen.
Be kind to yourself - you can only do your best to manage your BS (pun intended).
I think they should have put a dog on your meter, but a cat makes sense to me.
why are we not creating awareness for overweight ? I think by raising this we can also reduce % of diabetes ? cant we ?