Oh how fitting a day to post this.
Friends, I have been burned out. Not just in the DOC but all over my D life. Diabetes has been a complete asshole lately.
Never in my almost 25 years having diabetes has it been this unpredictable, this bizarre. So much so that I have almost given up on ever bolusing before a meal and would rather play catch up correcting.
And even correcting is not working at all like any other time in my life.
So getting online and reading about diabetes is hard to do when you feel like you are failing beyond belief. Sometimes it is hard to hear people say, "you're not a failure."
Is it depression? Maybe. Maybe a form of it. I am more angry and fed up than I am depressed in the sense of feeling sad. It is not sadnesss, it is anger.
The stupid thing is that I KNOW the DOC can pull me out of this. That I am not alone. That maybe if I read somewhere that someone else was having such a horrible time in their diabetes life right now it would help by reminding me that I am, in fact, not alone. And yet I am choosing it, or at least did up until now.
So when I heard about the #DOCBurnout2015 day I knew I wanted to post about it.
And of course, now I feel better.
Also this kitten on my new glucometer helps.