Reluctant Resignation - #nodday2013

Since I was a little kid I have wanted to be a father. Having great examples like my Uncle's, Grandpa, and my dad made it easy to want to follow in their footsteps. 

After my dad died and I had my first kid I knew I was doing what I was meant to do. Ready to give up everything for this child. My dreams and goals and wants in this world just stop existing. I lived for my child. 

That was what I thought I saw in the other men in my life so that was what I have done. I like being a dad. I think I am pretty good at it actually. And if you know me there are only a few things that I would say I do well. Being a dad is one of them.

So what do I do now that one of my kids is an adult? My son is 19 and when I was his age I didn't have a dad anymore. I was a year into a life changing illness and my dad was dead. Life at home was surrounded by tension from a step father who drank too much and didn't care for having step kids.

This dad thing has only seriously stumped me once before. That was when my son first got his license. I was and still am terrified when he leaves the house. I never knew how much that was going to get to me. 

But now that I see my time of parenting is ending for my son I am a mess. Sure I will always be his dad and sure you never stop parenting but pulling away and watching them take their life into their hands is not easy. 

You run as fast as you can holding onto the back of the seat as they wobble and struggle. Then you stand there so proud and terribly sad when you see them ride off. Smiling, panting, crying all at once. 

And to think I have to go through this with another one!

Being a father is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. 

Diabetes Drop Out

The truth is I am in serious burn out mode. Diabetes is annoying me a lot right now.

Waking up tangled in tubing. Tearing off my CGM sensor by walking a little too close to the door jam without a shirt on. Feeling like crap when I bolus incorrectly or over carb it.

Just done. Done with the whole thing.

Tomorrow will be good. No D Day is just what I need. A day to not share a thing about all this crap.

But today,  I vent.

October 1st is No D Day!

Get ready for a day of learning new things about old friends in the DOC.

No D Day is one day a year when we all try our best to NOT mention diabetes online, all day. ALL DAY!

We all spend a lot of time talking about Diabetes and our lives are filled with more that that disease. We are more that a disease! 

So tell us about what hobbies you have, things you like to do, stuff going on, whatever you want! Just avoid the D word all day!

I AM IN NO WAY SUGGESTING YOU IGNORE DIABETES! That is not what No D Day is about. It is NOT about being ashamed of diabetes. It is NOT about being angry or burned out. Although you may be. 

No D Day is about getting to know one another in a different way. It's a challenge to not go to your "go to" and to find something else to share with the world.

So are you in? Awesome! Click the link below or the link in the Menu and add your post on Tuesday!

http://ninjabetic.com/nodday2013

You can also use the banner on your post if you like! I can't wait to read all the posts.

If you need some examples, here are my past No D Day posts. 2010 2011 2012

Ten Twenty

Howdy y'all!

In case you have been wondering where I have been, (or even if you haven't) my day job has been getting the best of me. So much so that when I get home all I can do is open a beer, plop on the couch, chew whatever food is nearby, and fall asleep.

So pathetic.

My bg's have been surprisingly good throughout all the stress so that's nice but my brain hurts pretty much all the time. Not a headache but a brainache. 

Checking in with y'all is important for my mood and my sanity. I miss reading and commenting and tweeting and talking with you guys. I hope you don't think I am ditching the DOC. That would never happen. I am just overwhelmed.

Apologizing for not blogging is like the biggest blogger NO NO but I am all about breaking the rules!

So friends I do apologize for not posting lately. I feel like a stranger now, like an outsider peeking into a cool party I don't deserve an invite to. I know that is not how it is but that is how I feel. 

Here's to hoping life calms down, time frees up some, and I get some rest for my brain.

Those of you familiar with the Citizen's Band please make sure you mention your handle in your comment. My Handle was Li'l Bear but now I guess it's Ninjabetic. 

You Tube Tuesday - Awesome People

There a few of this videos out and about and I really dig them all. People doing amazing things is inspiring and just awesome! People are awesome!

Enjoy!