You Tube Tuesday #215

I know it's late but I finally got a clip up!

This dog is so busted.

Enjoy!

Music Key

After I got home after my appointment on Wednesday I was wiped out. My mind was running through all the information my doctor had given over and over. I was worried, scared, and nervous. Could I really get my act together? Can the things really be reversed? Is it too late? Has the damage been done?

When I walked in my wife was running out to pick up our daughter from Confirmation class at church. She mentioned that after she picked her up they were going to head to the store for a few things and then come home.

My son George was sitting on the couch with his guitar in hand and Casey our cat lying on the other couch. I said hi and laid down on the couch with my cat close by so I could snuggle him up for comfort.

George was strumming away some Iron and Wine songs and singing. I was lying on my back and listening.

Curiosity far greater than the fear
It felt so simple, so prodigious, at the same time
Incredible things are happening in the world
Magical things are happening in the world

I joined in singing melody while he jumped to harmony like we had planned it. It was beautiful. When the song ended I felt a tear trickle down the side of my face.

“Play something else we can sing.” Asking George to play music is like asking the sun to shine. He is wired for music and he can play non-stop which is one of the best things about my home. Music is almost always playing.

We starting singing again but this time I could not get the words to come out. I fell apart.

George stopped and waited for me to speak.

“I am scared son. I am really scared. I need to make some major changes in my life or else I am not going to be here much longer. I don’t want you or Gillian to deal with what I did when my dad died and it terrifies me.”

He sat and looked at me while I cried like a child. When I finally stopped he asked, “Can I say something?”

“Of course.”

“Whatever we have to do we will do. You are going to be able to do this and you have the right doctor now so I know things are going to be alright. I mean, you have too many people counting on you. Look at all the stuff you have going online and in the OC. People depend on you and you have a lot still to do here. You are not going anywhere.”

“You, Gillian, and Mom come first son and you are the reason I want to get better.” I could not believe he was more worried about my impact online than himself.

“We are not the only people who need you dad. There are lots of people who count on you. No, you are not going anywhere.”

What surprised me more than his words was his composure. He spoke with emotion but never losing control, I was so impressed by that.

“Everyday I think about getting a phone call or getting called into the office and hearing something awful has happened to you. I think about it all the time. I worry but I pray too and I know that we can do whatever we need to do and make whatever changes we need to so you will be better.” I never knew how much burden my health was for him and the rest of my family for that matter. It made me hate diabetes so much more and also made me determined to change.

The faith he has in me was a huge motivator. Having him and my family as well as all of you in my corner also helps take some of that fear away. I know I can change.

But am I too late?

That is what scares me the most.

Follow Up From Yesterday

“You are my coach and I promise I will be your best patient. Whatever you tell me to do, I will.”

Those are the words I keep holding onto. I said them with honesty and desperation.

My doctor smiled at me and said, “George, you know more about diabetes than most doctors out there. You should commend yourself for that. You are going to be okay. All of this stuff we can fix.”

Sure I felt better but looking at the numbers that do not lie makes it tough to handle.

“I am sure you would rather understand these numbers instead of me just prescribing medicine and telling you to come back in a month right?”

He is absolutely right. He brought out a white board and wrote down every test he ran on my blood, told me where I should be, and where I am. He drew diagrams to explain everything and explained what we were going to do to get my numbers where they should be.

As many of you know my dad died of a heart attack at age 42. From what these numbers are saying, I am on the same path. My good cholesterol is good, my bad cholesterol is not horrible but needs some work. He ran a test to show how at risk I am for a heart attack or stroke within the next 5 years and let’s just say you should put your money on that. Dialysis is also in my future if I don’t get my bg’s under control.

“And that’s not even the worst number you had!” I could not understand why my doctor was smiling as he said this to me.

He stuck out his hand and said, “Congratulations, you have the lowest Vitamin D count I have seen in a year. And actually the only one lower was a lady with muscular sclerosis.”

From what he explained anything less that 20 is considered Vitamin D deficient and I came in at 8. “Low vitamin D makes you feel tired all the time, it’s hard to think, it can mess with your A1C, your cholesterol, and lead to depression. You must have been feeling like crap for years!”

I started to well up again. “It’s not like I don’t go to the doctors. Why is this the first time this has been checked?”

The fact is that it doesn’t really matter now. I have to move on. I have to take the steps I need to get myself in better health soon.

I know I have the right coach. I know I have the support from you all. I just wish I wasn’t so damn scared.

Here’s a plus, I was 7 pounds lighter than I was 2 weeks ago.

More on this tomorrow.

Second Visit

This afternoon I am going to visit my new doctor. You remember the new doctor right? The aweome one who left that awesome comment on my post! So awesome right? RIGHT! AWESOME!

Enough with the awesome bit, let's move on to the next step. 

I got a call from my doctor last week checking in on how some new meds I am taking are working and if I am feeling nauseous at all. I told him about a little nausea but not enough for me to give up.

"I got the results back from your blood work and there are a few things we need to talk about when you come in." He said it with such comfort and with no alarm that I was curious but not worried.

He said that my cholesterol was not great but not horrible. Also that my A1C came back at 7.5% although the machine in the office said 9. No biggie. He also mentioned that my kidneys may need some addressing but that I should not worry. 

"All this stuff we can correct and fix. Don't worry about it, we will see you next week."

Man, I cannot tell you how great that was. He is the first doctor to ever call me or ever talk to me over the phone! Crazy right? And I really am not worried. I know he will help me get all this stuff straightened out. I am really looking forward to our appointment today.

"And by the way, thanks for your blog post." I was kind of surprized he brought it up. "I didn't know you had a blog and wrote."

"Well, I typically don't mention it but I am really glad you did read it. And thank you so much for your comment. It really meant a lot to me and so many others." I was trying to hold back what I wanted to say and that would be, "YOU SHOULD REALLY CHECK OUT THE OC AND GET INVOLVED!!" I figure he is a busy guy and maybe one day he will be more involved, who knows.

The last thing he said to me made me feel really good.

"Well please keep up the good work. You are a good writer."

I could hug him. It is going to be hard not to but I figure, no hugging until we get the A1C under 6.5. 

You Tube Tuesday #214

My friend Jenni Prokopy, founder of Chronic Babe, put together this video which she used to open up her 2011 SXSWinteractive presentation. 

What is the impact of online health communities? Watch this clip and you will find out!

It's cool to see Scott Johnson and Ann Bartlett in the clip! Enjoy and thank you so much Jenni, you rock!

Enjoy.

What is the impact of online health communities? from Jenni Prokopy on Vimeo.