You Are Allowed

This morning I had a conversation with a coworker. Let’s call her Susan.

Susan has been in and out of the doctors lately with a breast cancer scare. I do not have all the details but from what I have been told she had 3 lumps removed that were malignant but the doctors said the cancer had not spread. Good news indeed.

So now was the follow up on treatment and what chemotherapy, if any, was needed.

I had left a message for Susan yesterday and she called me back letting me know she was at the doctors so she could not pick up the phone when I called.

“So how is everything?” I said it in a way that made it clear I was asking about the doctors appointment.

“Well the doctor thinks he got everything so that is good but he also thinks I should have 4 rounds of chemo so that is a bummer.” She sounded more nervous then depressed.

We talked about advancement of technology and how sometimes "you gotta do what you gotta do." There is another coworker who fought and won a battle with cancer and she would come in the day after chemo feeling perfectly fine which helped to calm Susan's concern about the aggressive treatment and her reaction to it. I could feel her calming down and loosening up about it as much as she could.

“Well, it could be worse. I mean, I could be under a building in Haiti right now so I have to be thankful.” When I heard her say that I thought about all the times I have heard that I should be thankful my disease is diabetes and not cancer. I could hear myself saying those words too which many of us have said.

I could not help myself and said to her what I wish someone would say to me. “You know what Susan, you are right. It could be worse. But this is your collapsed building. This is your personal collapsed building and you are allowed to say it sucks because it does. It does suck. Things could always be worse but I’m sorry, this still sucks and you are totally allowed to say so!”

I could hear a relief in her voice as she said, “You are right. This does suck!”

Yes it does. But we choose to do what we gotta do to continue on.

We can be thankful it’s not worse and still think it sucks.

Because it does.

I've Got a Friend

At last year's TCOYD event I picked up some of these "Diabetes Etiquette" pamphlets from the Behavioral Diabetes Institute booth and left one on my desk at work. Typically when people come into my office they do not notice it but that was not the case yesterday.

Danielle is a coworker who stopped into my office yesterday to ask me a question. When she came in she could see that something was wrong. I was in the middle of a battle with a high blood sugar. So high in fact that my meter just read "HI" which means it was over 600!

"Are you okay? Your eyes look funny."

I was squinting from a terrible headache as my head felt like it was spinning and ready to expload. "I am just high."

"High on what?!" She was joking but was trying to cheer me up. She sat down and I saw her grab the pamphlet.

"Sugar. Or I guess I should say popcorn." I knew why I was high. I had eaten a bunch of popcorn after lunch that was sitting out in the break room.

As Danielle was looking at the pamphlet she said very carefully, "What kind of snacks could we have that would help you avoid bad highs like this?" Her tone was that of concern which I appreciated.

"Well all we have around here is candy and popcorn. It's a total carbfest in this place! Maybe some mixed nuts or something. At least the carb count is lower and it's something I like."

This morning I found 3 bags of mixed nuts on my desk. Danielle had dropped them off this morning before she had to make some appointments.

It made me wonder how many people in our lives truly want to help us but because of their approach or wording we automatically toss them into the ranks of the Diabetes Police. Granted I do believe that there are those who love to tell us what to do. But more often then not, my guess is people need some help on how to approach us.

If we were willing to help them respond to us in a way that was not "telling us what to do" or was nagging then maybe our run in's with the D-Police would be lessened. I would love to know what you think about that

Honestly, I think people want to know how to help us and be there for us without upsetting us.

They just need some help!

So I want to say "thank you" to Danielle for being such a great friend. You are officially a type 3 in my book!

4 Years Old

When I started this blog I had no idea what would become of it. I knew I had lived with type 1 diabetes and never felt like I belonged anywhere. I hoped that starting a blog of my own would allow me a place to express my frustrations, find support, and maybe help support others too.

All of those things have happened and so much more. I have made lifelong friendships that contain a connection that is nothing I have ever felt before. A knowing of each other in a way only those who share this disease can understand. I have found a family in all of you and cherish it as so. A beautiful thing indeed.

From the very first blog I ever read, to the first one I read this morning. From the very first commenter, to the most recent one. From the very first diabetes podcast I have ever heard, to the first podcast I have ever been a guest on. To all of these and the ones in between I want to thank you for making the last 4 years of my life amazing!

I have witnessed new communities born and others who had been around flourish! Some have been married, found love, become parents, and kept us in the loop. Others have created online tools to help us, found ways to help others, taught us new ideas, written books and just made us smile! 

There are so many more I want to mention and I know more yet to be seen that will be apart of this amazing place we call the Diabetes Online Community.

I can't wait to see what the next 4 years has in store. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

You Tube Tuesday #154

Hopefully you all remember SugaSheen and their smash hit, "All the Diabetics." If you have not seen if you should click on the link and check it out.

But this weeks clip is from the real brains behind SugaSheen. Niya!

In this clip, Niya is playing the demo version of "All the Diabetics" and going over some chord progressions. If you watch closely you can see the point when she sees a change in the music she does not like and then quickly turns it around! 

Watching a genius work is always a treat. Enjoy!

Now It Begins

My holiday season is now official over.

We had a great time in Laughlin for "Casino Christmas." It was a great time visiting family, having a crazy in room gift exchange, playing craps, and watching my mom enjoying having all of her grandkids together.

But now it is time to think ahead to 2010 and what I want to accomplish.

First and foremost is weight loss. I want this year to be the year that I start the path to where I want to be and not stop until I get there. This first step will be that 40 I have been trying to get rid of and after that I will set some new goals but this is my main focus for 2010.

Another plan is to meet up with some of my d-friends. If all goes as planned, 2010 will include a visit to Minnesota, New York, and possibly Florida. I hope and pray that these work out so if you wouldn't mind crossing some fingers and toes for me, I would appreciate it!

This website is going to have some changes made to it also. Some additions, some deletions, and who knows what else. Well, I know some but I'm not telling just yet.

My overall hope is that 2010 will shape up to be a year like 2006. One that I can look back on and see the accomplishments I have made. One that was filled with goals met and new ones set. When come December I can put my fist under my chin with a winning smile and say, "Yeah, I did it! (koochi koochi)"

But the main focus is, the "Bacon Bump!"